Rome Diarys

I have just had a bit of a break down while talking to a friend from London on MSN. I started to cry and just couldnt stop it was an unending flow and talking to her i realise again how unhappy i am sometimes and how lonely here.

I need more than cleaning the house, making dinner and wandering aimlessly about in Rome. I need a job and please god let me get one soon even if its part-time. Im going to ask Alex for money to go to the gym as well, i need something to do more or i will go crazy and i dont know.

I miss going shopping with my friends, i miss going for noodles in Greenwich, i miss alot of stuff. And even after 6 months of being here in Rome im not settled not really. I need more than just the house and Alex or i wont survive here.

My friend said i should keep asking for a kitten as it would be company for me and she knows how much i love animals but i think he will still say no.

I can't believe how depressed i can be here, in London i was so active and poitive but there i could do so many things. Things i dont feel i can do here and i hate it. I think thats why part of me has given up with learning Italian.

I put a post on Wanted in Rome website asking if anyone knows any classes taught in english, like dancing, painting, anything i can do here in Rome i need to be active i need to go where i can make some friends.

Finally the plane ticket is book so i can see my parents!! Its in 3 and a half weeks time and i can't wait! I know Alex doesnt want me to really go but its just for a week and i havent seen my family in over 4 months!!I need to see them especially as we wont be going for christmas so its the last chance to see them before next year.

I am soooooo going to stock up and bring stuff back like peanut butter, salad cream, Branston pickle!! All the things i love but can't get out here! Im also going to tell my family they better start sending me stuff like this when i ask rather than giving excuses after all im not asking for much and i would do the same for them

I think Alex is worried i wont come back from the visit which is silly my home is here with him in Rome. But i must admit theres a tiny tiny voice inside me saying how easier it would be to stay in England. I would find a job straight away, be able to go shopping, have my friends and family, be independant again like i was in London. Im not going to lie but the last 6 months has been a hard struggle for me here. And im not sure if it had been round the other way and he had moved to England weather he would have stayed or not.

Going out on the weekend with a group of Alex's Italian friends and a few from else where so should be nice. Going to go mad with my camera and take loads of pics.

Im still going through lonely phases, i tried texting some of the girls from my Italian course i finished so see if they wanted to go out to lunch but no one responded.

Im trying to get Alex to be more social as well he doesnt do much with his friends but he always says he wishes he could see them more. So hopefully if i can get them to socalise more with us things will be better.

I would still love a kitten but Alex keeps saying no, im going to ask for one for xmas and see what happens. He thinks us having a baby would be better as i have said in previous posts but we cant afford it at the moment and i think a kitten would be easier for now.

I sometimes wonder if anyone reads these posts especially as i have a link to them on my facebook, or am i just a lone voice on the wind that no one hears?

So i have applied for 3 jobs now so hopefully i will get something and i wont have use much of my basic italian fingers crossed! I know it sounds crazy but i dont want to stay at home i want to find a job! I had an interview for a bar staff job in central rome but the shifts were until 3 am and i dont drive so how would i have gotten home?

Finally got some dates for me going to visit my parents in England in september and we are booking the flight tonight! YAY!! So i should be going for a week with them in a months time. I cant wait sooooooooooo looking forwards to it!

Going to exchange christmas presents while we are there as i wont see them until next year after that as christmas time the flights are way to expensive! But hopefully they will start visiting me as there lazy, i have been here 6 months and no one has visited me yet!

My friend in London was teasing me over the internet last night about the foods i like and cant get here in Roma! Its funny the things you can miss like KFC, Fish and Chips, Branston pickle, salad cream!! All the nice tasties!Although tonight im going to make the frozen fish and chips for dinner but its not the same as from a chip shop hee hee.

Some of our friends have a friend from Finland staying with them for 2 weeks and i have said if he wants some company wandering about to text me. Gives me something more to do than cleaning the house and making dinner.

Alex is starting to feel much better although he still has 5 days left of anti-biotics and he cant drink his beer until saturday which he is really looking forwards to.

I had a bit of scare when i came off the pill this month i thought for a while i was pregnant but apparently it was my body adjusting back to normal which is good. We want kids but we want them when we are ready next year maybe. So now i start the common pill used here at the end of the month hopefully it wont have side effects

We had a lovely 5 days in satunia Tuscany, it was so hot and we did lots of walking and chilling out and relaxing it was so lovely! I even lost a bit of weight from all the exercise. I seem to be the mosquito's favorite snack at the moment as always and they never touch Alex just me!

He's still not well the doctor gave him anti-biotics which shouold help i hate seeing him down i feel so helpless to help him.

Still need to arrange me going to visit my parents in UK, i really miss them alot now and really want to go and see them. Been feeling a bit down we havent sorted it out yet.

I went out to dinner with the wives of Alex's friends there so lovely and it was really nice to have a girly evening. They liked it so much we are going to arrange more of them It was a nice evening and it made me feel happier. I need to arrange meeting with the people i made friends with on the italian course i did.

I have finally sent the applcation form off to the babysitting agency and hopefully i will have work soon, sitting at home all day is driving me crazy. And i want my own money i hate asking Alex for stuff.

Been trying to motviate myself to do exercise but it hard i would prefer to go to a gym. I keep looking at my skipping rope on the sofa but the urge to use it doesnt come hee hee.