Rome Diarys

So Alex has now decided that hes not sure he wants to have children, it came like a bolt out of the blue last night. (he said he wanted kids all the way do far). He says he needs to think about it. I got really upset about this as i told him it effects both of us his decision. He knows i want to have children in my life i want to have a family.......... So he needs to think hard about what he wants out of life. He says this is part of the reason for his indecisions all the time like about getting married.

So he also said again he might not come to the uk with me he might stay here for the 2 weeks and 'sort out' the flat, things that need doing. But i know he will just end up being on the computer playing games instead! as he did last time! And what do i tell my parents? hes coming then suddenly not coming? what are they going to think?!

He also said its to long to spend 2 weeks apart but there is no way im am shortening the trip if he doesnt come! I havent seem my parents in over 7 months! I am staying with them the full time i can.

So things are completely crazy now! and i dont know what is going on and what is going to happen! Why can life be good one minute then completely up in the air the next.

I feel like hes pushing me away even a friend said it sounds that way, so i asked him did he want to end the relationship and he said no. He said he just has to figure out what he wants out of the relationship/life. I told him it includes me and at the moment im hurt and confused about all of this.

So this week i have been trying to get things done ready for the weekend! Put all the washing away, still trying to work out what im going to take with me clothes wise as i know the UK weather can be unpredictable.

Alex is getting more and more stressed and nervous about taking the flight but i think its more the thought of being away from italy. I think if we had been driving he would have been ok because he would have been in control of the situation. I dont know if hes going to come now or change his mind at the last minute! Its crazy its not like we see them all the time and hes only seen them once when we went for the week last year! I really dont understand him sometimes! I think i will be upset if he doesnt come to me that feels like he doesnt like my fmaily or want to see them.... and my family is important to me even though there lazy and dont come to visit us.

I dont think my old flat mate Guy is going to meet us in cambridge now as we arranged he was all vauge about it in his last email! But hes always been like that agreeing to do something and then forgetting about it when it comes up!

One more week til our trip to the UK woohoooo soooo excited now!! I can't wait to see my family! there getting excited to spoke to them yesterday on the webcam. Alex is getting more and more nervous about taking the plane but i know once we are on it he will be fine. They said it was nice weather you can walk about in a thin jumper and be ok so i can start packing this week. I have to remember to bring Jess back a big bag of chocolate heehee as she likes it from there. Im going to miss chatting to her while im away but the second week i should be able to come on my brothers computer sometimes

We have to buy Ciro's supply of food etc to give to the lady who will be looking after him we are dropping him of with her at 10am on saturday. She has two cats of her own so he has someone to play with and hopefully he will be ok with them. Im getting worried that he will be ok i love him even though hes a pain in the bum sometimes. I hope he has fun with the other cats and on his little holiday it might do him good and calm him down a little.

I got everyone presents now so everyone has something when we arrive which i think they will all love!

Alex said i could go for two weeks in september as well if i like and could spend 1 week with my family and the other in London with my friends! so its something to think about.

My brother now has work and said he wants to come for sure end of the summer to visit us here in Roma for 2 weeks! It was really funny he asked if we had more to eat here than just pizza and pasta! heehee I asurred him there was a Macdonalds if he wanted fast food! heehee

The weekend just gone was a bit busy we had to go food shopping and get some bits for the flat on saturday.Then we went to someones birthday party in the evening they all played guitar hero on the xbox and we didnt get back to early morning.

Sunday we woke up really late, had lots of clothes washing to sort out before next weekend! Has to clean the house and put the winter coats away and make sure everything was done. And we went out for pizza for dinner down to the local place we always go.

So we fly to Stansted airport next sunday and should be in the UK by lunchtime! its all so exciting!!

I finally worked out how to ad photos to my blog heehee so i have been adding photo's to old blogs!

On saturday we went to Villa Adrianna which is in Tivoli its a beautiful place an old Roman Villa in ruins and its huge! We walked around for hours exploring and taking photo's of the amazing place we both love it. We want to get out more on saturdays and explore or go places. There's another villa in Tivoli with 100 fountains we will see next time

Alex has been getting pissed of with Ciro more again lately hes driving me crazy. He keeps telling me again i have to understand hes trying his best to be tolerante etc. All Ciro is doing is running about, crying for attention sometimes, playing. I really dont think that if he can't cope with a cat he won't be able to cope with a baby. Not matter that he says a baby would be different that he would be patient with it etc i just don't believe him.

Alex has been really moaning this week and nagging at me about little things and its not nice. Im so tired of it all lately and when i talk to him he doesnt listen and i have to say things 2 or 3 times before it gets through!

Its times like these i wish my friend Jess lived in Roma instead of Verona

My little sister i talked to yesterday she wants a change in career shes thinking of doing a media course and to try and make documentary's to go with her degree in zooology! I really hope she can do it and give it a go. I told her to buy a camera and start making short films, which will give her practise.

2 more weeks til we go to the uk i cant wait im so excited and happy!!

Been talking to James one of my friends in London who is a tattooist and did the tattoo on my back. Mentioned i might be going to paris in October and he said he doesnt like it there heehee he was quite rude about the place actually but i think he might have had a bad experience there.

My brother has promised to come for 2 weeks in October to stay with us now hes going to be working with my dad for 6 months over the summer.