So Alex has now decided that hes not sure he wants to have children, it came like a bolt out of the blue last night. (he said he wanted kids all the way do far). He says he needs to think about it. I got really upset about this as i told him it effects both of us his decision. He knows i want to have children in my life i want to have a family.......... So he needs to think hard about what he wants out of life. He says this is part of the reason for his indecisions all the time like about getting married.:??:

So he also said again he might not come to the uk with me he might stay here for the 2 weeks and 'sort out' the flat, things that need doing. But i know he will just end up being on the computer playing games instead! as he did last time! And what do i tell my parents? hes coming then suddenly not coming? what are they going to think?!

He also said its to long to spend 2 weeks apart but there is no way im am shortening the trip if he doesnt come! I havent seem my parents in over 7 months! I am staying with them the full time i can.:##

So things are completely crazy now! and i dont know what is going on and what is going to happen! Why can life be good one minute then completely up in the air the next. :(

I feel like hes pushing me away even a friend said it sounds that way, so i asked him did he want to end the relationship and he said no. He said he just has to figure out what he wants out of the relationship/life. I told him it includes me and at the moment im hurt and confused about all of this.