So i have been feeling a bit down since yesterday im starting to have withdrawl symptoms from visiting the UK. Especially missing the company my family were with people to chat to etc 
. It just feels weird now here with just me and Ciro in the day and talking to Jess over MSN. I missing being able to talk to anyone and having thrm understand me but here theres the language barrier. And i know i have to start looking at the Italian course CD we bought but part of me is saying 'is it worth it?'. Especially as i dont know what the future is going to hold in the next few months.
I talked to Jess over text about it and she knows how i feel she said they were going to come to Rome soon so that was good news.
I feel like i want more here, my sister can drive now and i really want to do that and she might be going to college again in september and my brother to Uni next year. I really missing being able to do my evening courses i used to do in London i feel a bit trapped here and like i cant do anything because of the language barrier......I keep having dreams out me studying again which maked me more depressed when i wake up as i just can't do it here in Roma and its so frustrating.
I have been a bit snappy with Alex lately and not been really interested in having a cuddly etc. I just keep feeling frustration and disappointment that he can't seem to make up his mind what he wants and that my life is on hold until he does. Its just not fair and im getting tired of it! I am not waiting years for him to make descions about his life as it effects me to as we are in a relationship.
Also i went to work today the first time since back from the UK and they told me they are going on holiday from July til end of August as there off to the sea side and then America. I felt sad at this as i missed the girls when i was away and now i wont see them for 2 months! Plus they were my link outside more people for me to talk to etc and i wont have that for a while from July
Ciro is being a bit clingy as well which is probably him still feeling a bit unhappy that we left him for two weeks poor baby.
Why cant when you find happiness why cant it just stay that way? and work out etc? why does there have to be all these complication......
you dont realise how hard it is til you do it. I lived 9 yrs in London before this and before that lived with my parents and i hated london for the first 6 months when i moved there as i had never been away from home but in the end i made friends had a job etc. 
I stumbled onto your blog when I researching a trip to Italy and was drawn in by your frank postings. I hope you find resolution soon, as living in the doldrums is no way to live happily. After reading your posts I think you are brave to uproot yourself from the familiar and leap into love and trust. So no matter what the ultimate results are, you have much to be proud of in yourself. You seem to me to be very strong.