Rome Diarys

I have moved my blog to another site my friend set up for me so im now at www.romelife.info if anyone is still interested in reading my blog at all

Went to the gynocologist today to get a check up my first ever with this kind of Doctor. I mean i have had smears in the UK like every other women but i have never been to a gynocologist for a check yup. We just wanted to make sure i didnt have the bacteria that Alex has. So she was really nice and friendly i had Alex translating as normal, so she checked my chest for lumps all was fine there. She checked my lady parts and told me i had thrush and also that my uterus was inlarged. She gave me some stuff for the thrush then said she wanted me to get an ultrasound done in september of my pelvis just to check my uterus. She said it could just be inherited and gentic but wanted to check all was ok. She said not to worry and to bring the results back to her in september.

So i got home phoned my mum who said she doesnt have one and as far as she knows nor did my grandmothers. This worried me a little she said to google it and see what comes up. Even Jess told me not to worry and see what happens. And so i googled it and scared myself if some of the results. It looks like some women just have inlarged ones but there can be other courses as well like fibroids. I really worried it might effect me having children and i would be devistated if that happened. Alex weeks telling me not to worry and it will be ok so now i just wait and see what comes of this.

I went to the gym wed and thur but didnt go today as my trainers are to small for me and making my feet hurt. I realised this yesterday when my big toe ached for 3 hours after the gym! Jess told me about a sports shop in roma i can get some new ones but walking past a local shoe shop today i realised they sell some so might look in there tomorrow.

My brother is booking tickets to Blizz.com for next year which will be held in california i would really like to go but not sure i can afford it. Im going to keep my fingerscrossed i can save up for it.

I went to the gym today it felt so great! I got there at 8.55am and it was closed even though it was supposed to be open at 8.30 and the lady said to come at 9am. So i stood around until 9.35 when the cleaner opened up, i gave him 5mins to settle in then walked in. I could here a shower running in a changing room so went outside and waited another 5 mins then went back in. We both suprised eachother then i came round the corner but i explained who i was in my basic italian also using my english and all was ok. I was Queen of the gym there was no one else in using in it was fantastic. So i started out with the bike doing 10mins, 20mins on the running machine doing a fast walk and jog, then 10mins on the crosstrainer and another 6mins on the bike. I finished off by exploring the weight machines and trying a few out! So im going to go everyday if i can now as they are closed for 2 weeks in August for a break.

Ciro is being so good at the moment very loving and wanting to play all the time, i got a big greeting when i got home from the gym all purrs and cuddles.

Im speaking to another girl from the expats page whos living here in Roma an American. She wants to meet up tomorrow in central rome. Im a bit worried about doing it as she might not turn up, so we shall see.

So we went to the cinema on saturday afternoon in Piazza di Popolo it was really nice! My first time in a cinema in italy!! It was small but with comfy seats we went to see the latest Harry Potter films which was good although they left alot out from the book. The next film will be the last. Alex even enjoyed it although the last film he went to see was the last Lord of the Rings film. He said we could do it more often although next time its his turn to choose a film and it will be in italian as Harry Potter was in English with Italian sub-titles.

So im getting ready to book my ticket for October to visit my parents and London, i pretty much had it all worked out. Then last night a bombshell my friend i would be staying with comes online and says they dont want to feel like a hotel. That they now can't get time of that week and don't like the fact they will only see me in the evening as there working from 6 til 8 in the week. The way they put this on MSN i really thought they were cancelling on me and i got realy upset. I have been looking forwards to going back to London for ages and they have been nagging me to come. I actually burst into tears and frightened Alex who tried to comfort me, even Ciro came to give me a cuddle he was worried to.
So basically they now have said they want me to visit but want to see me and spend time with me rather than just seeing me in the evenings (not my fault they cant get the week off). So they want me to come from a friday to a tuesday as they can take a few days off after saying they can take no days off. I said it would probably be fine but i would have to sort it out with my parents as they have the first week off so i would see them for 4 days then go to london for 4 days then i guess go back to my parents in Norfolk. Also Jess might be coming with me to London and stay with them which they are all fine with so thats ok. My friends there are just bloody weird sometimes they always have been! I have told them i am seeing some of my other friends as well not just them just to make things clear.

My brother also might be coming back with me to Roma as he wants to travel with me so he can stay for a week or 2. Its his first time flying and i dont want to let him travel alone so i have to consider all that as well!

I think next time i go to London and hopefully i go with Jess as i love having trips with her, i think we can just plan it more and stay at a hotel next time we go. Then theres no mix ups etc!

We bought Ciro a new scratchy post yeaterday its blue furry and had a box with a hole in it at the bottom then the scratchy bit then a level to sit on then another scratchy bit then another sitting bit. So far he walked up and sniffed it looked inside the box, scratched on it and thats about it. Alex was not amused by this and i said it would take sometimes for him to get used to it as its a new smell etc.

Its 37 outside today and its 10.30am and we are already feeling the heat! even Ciro is playing on the floor wanting to do nothing! so i think the aircon will be on soon. Yesterday i went for a doze on the bed and laid there like a zombie half asleep half away for 3 hours but i did feel better afterwards. We go for little walks in the evening once its cooler like everyone else here but its supposed to be getting cooler in the next few days!

Harry Potter was out on wednesday and i really want to see it at the cinema which would be my first time in italy as i havent been to one in almost 2 years! I found a cinema playing it in english and asked Alex if we could go. He said he watched the first one and didnt like it. I got a bit upset and teary as i thought he ment he didnt want to go and see it with me i acutally cried. He said we could go he hadn't ment he wouldnt take me and has promised to take me saturday afternoon.

I have been feeing a bit low since i saw a friend of mines pics on facebook from back in London her going to the pub and her new tattoo. It made me realise what i had left behind again and made me feel again i dont have a sense of freedom here, not like back there. There i could go out with my friends, go shopping with friends, get a tattoo when i wanted, join a gym with no problems, have a social life! which i dont have here apart from the computer.

We saw a baby yesterday and said how cute it was and Alex said again we can have a baby with we get rid of Ciro our cat. I wanst happy and told him he cant make me choose between a cat or baby and why should i give Ciro up as i asked for 9 months for one!! He said he thinks Ciro is crazy and a little spiteful and a baby would be better. So i wasnt happy about this i dont think its fair i have to choose between them and why does it always have to be his way??!

We are still snapping at eachother the heat isnt helping, we had an argument and he said he was disappointed with me! I didnt speak to him for the rest of the evening after that and the morning and he said he didnt know what he had said. When i explained he said he hadnt ment it in that way and it was the language difference and he was sorry it thought it was that way. He can talk about disappointments! i have been disappointed over and over so far with a crap b'day, xmas he forgot my pressie, changing his mind about marriage and not sure about a baby. I think im the one who should be disappointed! but i keep on going because i love him.

Sometimes i wonder if its all just worth it and if its going to be a happy ending in the end?! I dont want to be unhappy and i want the confidence and freedom to do my own stuff and still after almost 2 yrs i dont feel that completely

So we didnt go back to Tuscany this week as Alex decided it would be better to spend the week here and see what the results said they arrived on friday. He has 2 bacteria which is causing the postrate problem so he will have to take antibiotics to cure them. I thought he would be happy about this news now its finally know what it is, but he was all still doom and gloom. Antibiotics making you feel bad and crappy so hes not looking forwards to that for 15 days as his doctor gave him tablets for it. Worse i have to go to the gyno on friday and get checked as i might have the bacteria as well so i will have to take the tablets as well oh joy!

So we finally went to the gym on friday as Alex decided he would do something to get me outside more interact which was nice. We went and talked round it talk to a lady there who spoke english and got a timetable. We are ging back to sign me up on the 21st july they are open until the first week in August then closed for 2 weeks then start again so at least i get to try them for a little bit.

Alex is now obsessed with buying a brand new car such as a Mercedez which hes fallen in love with. Its alot of money which we dont have and even selling the porche he has now might not cover it. So we will wait and see what happens. He dragged me to two car places to have a look at things.

This week we did what i didnt want to do which was stay in alot on the computer, we did go for a few walks and ok maybe i should have asked to do something different apart from the 2 times i did ask! We are really grumpy and snappy with eachother at the moment the heat isn't helping (its 55 outside today) him being ill isn't helping, not making love for 2 months because of it isnt helping. We keep apologizing to eachother after a while its a weird situation.

He was also watching the discovery channel all the time! I was getting grumpy that he is doing everything he wants but we dont get to watch or do what i want to!! Part of me will be happy when he goes back to work as least i have space to do my own thing then and breath!

So i dont know if we are going back to Tuscany now or not! His antibiotics dont allow him to go out in sunlight or it has a strange effect. So we might be stuck in Roma another week!

I talked to my friend Dave a little bit about me and Alex it was nice to get a male view on it all and hes a sweet guy and was very helpful so that was good.

My friend Jess is finally back from America! YAY! and hopefully i will get to see her at some point soon!

Ciro is being quiet at night now hes being shut in the kitchen for the whole night and very effectionate in the mornings when i let him out. He has all his toys in there etc, feed, dirt tray and now even in the afternoons he will stay in there with the door open. I think hes finally mellowing! fingerscrossed!

We went to Tuscany for 6 days and stayed with friends, it was so lovely there hot and in the countryside it was very relaxing. We kept having naps after lunch everyday as it was to hot to do anything outside! We visited a few places again we did last year and went to the Necropolis which is rock tombs and old temples made out of rock. There was a pathway cut into the side of the hill which was amazing apparently its natural and was done by the sea millions of years ago!

Alex really wants to move there and we looked at a few houses in the village of satunia where we were staying but its quite expensive there as they have the natural spring down the road. We found a villa in a village 20mins away by car and that would give us much more space for our money rather than a tiny apartment in the village we stayed in for the same money. So we are thinking about moving there, if it was for good rather than a holiday home we would need to find work in the area first before moving which could be a good idea. But at the moment its still an idea. He's started looking in to selling the house in the mountains more but hes not sure he will get alot for it.

We are still waiting for the results of Alex's tests which we thought we would get today but apparently it takes 15 days not a week so its next monday they arrive. So we are thinking of going back to Tuscany for a week then coming back to Roma.

I took loads of pics of the local cats in tuscany, wild cats, house cats, the friend of Alex has 14 wild cats living at his house outside the village. He feeds them but there wild and you cant touch them. He showed me the kittens they had had which you could pick up and he wanted to give us the tiny black kitten which was so cute and lovely but Alex said no. I was a bit pissed off as i think Ciro could benifit from having a companion. And i even put this case to Alex and he said it made sense but he didnt want another cat and that i had my cat and that was the end of it. He said when Ciro dies we can have one of his friends wild kittens....

I got a bit upset while we were there as i could only understand a bit of what was going on but still felt left out as i couldnt join in on alot of the conversation. Also Alex was making all the descions on what we do etc and i felt more like he was being my father than my boyfriend.

One evening when we went for a drink i went back to the house early as i had had enough of it all and got a bit upset. When Alex got back he said his friend had noticed things and had told him if he loved me now was the time to help me with my italian and things as he could tell i was unhappy and might leave him. I wasnt suprised his friend had noticed this and spoken out even after more than several beers.

So Alex said he had been bad and would help me with my italian at last and that we would play less on the computer and start doing things as a couple! Like watching movies, going for more walks, going out, cooking togeather. He said he didnt want me to feel useless or unhappy here and we should make the effort if we loved eachother and that he loved me and didnt want to lose me.

So we shall see what happens as i have heard some of these things before then nothing has been done, So we shall see.

Ciro was much better last night slept all the way through and woke me at 5am to be fed then silent until 8am when we got up. We sorted out the kitchen yesterday to and rearranged the side he pulls down in the nightand last night he didnt touch it.

Our friend came over again last night to go over where all Ciro's things are and to get the keys so she can feed him.

We went to the hospital on monday and saw Alex's friend Betta who is really really nice and works there. She got him in to see a doctor about his prostrate who told him he had to have more tests done. So then in the afternoon we went to a lab for him to have them done and we get the results in 7 days. It was a tiring day for both od us! and now Alex just wants it all sorted out as hes in pain and grumpy and very negative about it all. I hate it when hes like this i cant cheer him up and hes just a nightmare.

So we are going to Tuscany today to stay with some friends and then come back on tuesday to get the results. We both need the break away and like last year it helped him to get out of the house and relax away from things.

This morning he said maybe we should just stay at home but i said no i dont want it to be like last year and getting out somewhere different helps him. He even got a new pain killer from the pharmacy yesterday to take a night but it didnt help him at all infact i think it even made it worse!

I just hope these tests come back and then this can be sorted once and for all!! and not come back next summer!!