We bought Ciro a new scratchy post yeaterday its blue furry and had a box with a hole in it at the bottom then the scratchy bit then a level to sit on then another scratchy bit then another sitting bit. So far he walked up and sniffed it looked inside the box, scratched on it and thats about it. Alex was not amused by this and i said it would take sometimes for him to get used to it as its a new smell etc.
Its 37 outside today and its 10.30am and we are already feeling the heat! even Ciro is playing on the floor wanting to do nothing! so i think the aircon will be on soon. Yesterday i went for a doze on the bed and laid there like a zombie half asleep half away for 3 hours but i did feel better afterwards. We go for little walks in the evening once its cooler like everyone else here but its supposed to be getting cooler in the next few days!
Harry Potter was out on wednesday and i really want to see it at the cinema which would be my first time in italy as i havent been to one in almost 2 years! I found a cinema playing it in english and asked Alex if we could go. He said he watched the first one and didnt like it. I got a bit upset and teary as i thought he ment he didnt want to go and see it with me i acutally cried. He said we could go he hadn't ment he wouldnt take me and has promised to take me saturday afternoon.
I have been feeing a bit low since i saw a friend of mines pics on facebook from back in London her going to the pub and her new tattoo. It made me realise what i had left behind again and made me feel again i dont have a sense of freedom here, not like back there. There i could go out with my friends, go shopping with friends, get a tattoo when i wanted, join a gym with no problems, have a social life! which i dont have here apart from the computer.
We saw a baby yesterday and said how cute it was and Alex said again we can have a baby with we get rid of Ciro our cat. I wanst happy and told him he cant make me choose between a cat or baby and why should i give Ciro up as i asked for 9 months for one!! He said he thinks Ciro is crazy and a little spiteful and a baby would be better. So i wasnt happy about this i dont think its fair i have to choose between them and why does it always have to be his way??!
We are still snapping at eachother the heat isnt helping, we had an argument and he said he was disappointed with me! I didnt speak to him for the rest of the evening after that and the morning and he said he didnt know what he had said. When i explained he said he hadnt ment it in that way and it was the language difference and he was sorry it thought it was that way. He can talk about disappointments! i have been disappointed over and over so far with a crap b'day, xmas he forgot my pressie, changing his mind about marriage and not sure about a baby. I think im the one who should be disappointed! but i keep on going because i love him.
Sometimes i wonder if its all just worth it and if its going to be a happy ending in the end?! I dont want to be unhappy and i want the confidence and freedom to do my own stuff and still after almost 2 yrs i dont feel that completely 
